Phase 2, day 3

Well today was the beginning of 43 days of the Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD) on the HCG diet.  I am only allowed to have 500 calories which is to include a very small variety of food.  Today's menu looked like this:

Breakfast
6 oz strawberries

Lunch
3.5 oz chicken
3 tomatoes cut and salted
1 grassini breadstick

Dinner
3.5 oz chicken
4 oz spinach wilted (I should have had 7 oz but didn't have enough spinach)
6 oz strawberries
1 grassini breadstick

In addition I drank six 28 oz bottles of water

I haven't felt hungry all day but I really want some chocolate.  I am a sugar addict and I think giving up my sweets is going to be the hardest part of this whole ordeal.  Although I don't feel hungry I do feel very tired and grumpy.  This could be attributed to staying up super late last night BBQing with my sis and bro, which was a blast!  It could also be because of the near 90's weather that is overcast and threatening a nice storm.  Either way I feel like I am moving through sand today and I have been very distracted.  I had to wait at the crossing light to go pick my son up from school, I missed the light three times because I kept getting distracted by the traffic and people around me.

In general today was just a rough day.  I run a daycare and specialize in infants and toddlers.  All of my babies are under a year old and two of them were super fussy today.  This usually doesn't bother me but it really got to me today, luckily my assistant showed up just in time to give me a nice break.  All of the babies are fighting stuffy noses, I think from allergies but one ended up with an ear infection.  Poor little guy.

I had to force myself to sit down and blog today.  I won't be blogging on Wednesdays and Sundays because those are my husbands days off of work and he keeps me pretty busy.  I used to write all of the time, it was like a compulsion when I was younger.  I took a journal with me everywhere and wrote mostly in code and poems but I can still look back on my journal now and tell you exactly what was happening at the time.  I want to write more which is why I started this blog but some days I feel so drained from my job and family that it seems like just one more thing begging for my attention.  I know writing will make me feel better and it is so good to get your thoughts out even if nobody is reading this but because I am feeling down I fear I may bring whoever is reading this down as well.  Oh well, here it is.  Blog post number 2, all a part of becoming Dainey, even on the days when I would like to be just about anybody else.
 

Hello

Hi, I am Dainey. A little about me.  I am 29 years old and have been married for almost eight years.  I have two beautiful children, a dog I can't stand, and a wonderful life.  The problem?  I am not happy with who I am.  I had my first child when I was 21 years old, which was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I would not change one second of the past 7 1/2 years.  The day he was born, I gained a happiness that I never knew existed.  My capacity for love grew beyond my wildest dreams.  And my body gained and gained and gained!  I was somewhat thrown into this life, and wonderful as it is, getting married, buying our first house, having a child, and starting my first business was a lot to take on in less than twelve months, which is exactly what happened.  In that whirlwind, and since, I feel that I have given pieces of myself away.  Slowly at first but as life got busier my self love savings account got smaller.  Until one day I woke up and looked in the mirror and no longer recognized who it was looking back at me.  Yes I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am so many things to so many people but who am I to myself?

Well that is what I am here to find out.  Starting today I am going to start becoming Dainey, whoever that may be. 

To begin this journey, and somewhat of a slap in the face to the entire idea of this blog, I started the HCG diet.  I really really really don't want to but in an effort to support my mother who I am doing it with and who I love beyond words, I am going to spend the next 45 days exploring the wonderful world of the 500 calorie a day diet.  This is extra hard for me because I am on the road to becoming a vegan.  I've discovered I don't really like meat, and really would prefer not to eat it anymore, but I will get much farther into that subject in subsequent postings.  The HCG diet is comprised mostly of meat.  Chicken and steak being the only ones on the list that I can even fathom eating and that is saying a lot because I have hated chicken since my first pregnancy.  But I figure this will be a good kick start.  A final push and reminder of why I want to become a vegan, and hopefully after all is said and done I'll be at least more comfortable in a pair of jeans.  Jeans!  Oh boy, they are my enemy right now, I exist for work out pants and it makes me sad.  The thought of the button at the top of a pair of jeans poking into my belly makes me tired and makes me never want to leave my house.  All the more reason to start this journey.

So today is the day.  Phase 1 started this morning.  For two days I must take the HCG drops and stuff myself to capacity.  The problem is I am not hungry and its hot.  Funny, who would have thought that forcing yourself to eat junk would be hard, tee hee.  In addition I must drink a gallon of water, I am 3/4 of the way there for the day, I shall be peeing like a prego all night I am sure.

Goodnight.